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the hosts of the event themselves. As I walked through the crowds I was the jerk stumbling around texting on their cell phone because I was trying to record as many of them as possible to share with you!
Here they are:
“Fox News thinks there are only a few people here”
“People behind me can’t see”
“I’m with the hippies”
“Atheists for Masturbation”
“Reasonably Prudent Person”
“These posters make me angry”
“Lost your marbles? I brought extra”
[held by a teenager] “Fox News you are making my mom afraid of everything”
“I make Glenn Beck cry”
“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results”
“Stop the Pity Party”
“Sanity is for the weak!”
“I screwed you all [picture of George W Bush]. Thanks for blaming the black guy”
“Refudiate Falsitude”
“My God has tea parties with your God”
“Hate is not a family value”
“Endless outrage is a mental illness not a form of government”
“Generic Sign”
“Restore Sanity, Start with California”
“Masturbationist Creationist Witches for O’Donnell”
“America is worth it stop whining and pay your taxes”
“Pro Peace, pro tolerance, pro cookies”
[Man in Halloween Devil Costume] “Obama is not the Devil, I am”
“The asses of evil”
“The rent is too damn low”
“Palin-Voldemort 2012”
And my personal favorite,
“I’ve always wanted to hold a sign”
November 1, 2010 at 1:05 pm
Today’s piece of crazy is brought to you by a dear friend of mine…let’s just call her Emotionally Unhinged. Enjoy!
Ladies and gentleman, we have a new curse.
I consider a person or group cursed if, despite all the things they have going for them, they just can’t catch a break.
There are many types of curses… the Madden curse, Harry Potter’s Avada Kedavra, Curse of Tippecanoe, Curse of the Billy Goat, (I know you think I’m shittin’ you with this, but it. They’re real.), the Kennedy Curse, the curse I wish upon other drivers during rush hour, etc.
We can add one more to the list.
The Curse of Being Tony Romo.
Sunday’s football game solidified my suspicions – this guy can’t catch a break. Â He is cursed!
Just think about this:
Despite being named NCAA Division I-AA’s best player his senior year, Romo goes undrafted in 2003. Â Then, his only job offer as an undrafted rookie free agent is from the Cowboys, whose owner is 13 years and a few screws short of being Al Davis. But it’s not all bad, because Romo is a backup to Drew Bledsoe – who until now might have been considered the unluckiest QB of all time – so there is hope…and of course Bledsoe goes down in cowpie covered flames and Romo steps into the pocket of Cowboy greatness! Meanwhile, he is dating Carrie Underwood… how good can life get?
But it doesn’t last long…
The Cowboys sign T.O., Romo kicks everyone’s ass in 2006 and then in the NFC wildcard playoff he botches the snap/hold for the easiest field goal in the history of all field goals and then desperately throws himself at the endzone only to be tackled at the 1 yard line.
The next season is the season of Jessica Simpson…yes, we all remember that shitshow. Â After a relaxing weekend in Cabo San Lucas with the Simpson vixen, Romo blows the division playoff game, throwing an interception in the endzone during the last seconds of the game. Â If things aren’t bad enough for Romo, T.O. pulls a T.O. and starts his QB drama crap, and then Romo blows it in yet another playoff game – throwing 4 interceptions and 0 TDs.
Can it get any worse? Â Oh yes, yes it can.
Last year, even though he managed to finally rid himself of Daisy Duke, Romo chokes yet AGAIN in the playoffs – fumbling the ball three times, throwing an interception and basically getting stomped by the Vikings. Â Then Carrie Underwood releases Cowboy Casanova and Romo is publicly tramp stamped for all time.
This year, all seemed well – the Cowboys had a stacked team, and Romo wasn’t distracted by blonde bombshells cheering from the VIP box. Â But instead of waiting until the playoffs to disillusion Cowboy nation, Romo gets sacked and his collarbone snaps like he is an 80 year old woman with osteoporosis.
Romo really is “candy coated misery.” On paper Romo seems like a winner but in reality this guy is lucky he hasn’t been run down by a tractor trailer on his way to Starbucks or the strip club.
Sorry Cowboys fans, your QB is cursed.
October 28, 2010 at 11:29 am
Early in the week, we got news that Mel Gibson’s career was set to rebound due to a cameo appearance as a tattoo artist in The Hangover 2. There was speculation that he’d be awesome and all wrongs would be forgiven. (See: Robert Downey, Jr and Tropic Thunder/Iron Man) Unfortunately for everyone’s favorite racial-slurring girlfriend beater, Zach Galifianakis and the crew of The Hangover 2 had other ideas. Now, Liam Neeson will be tattooing drunk kids in Thailand and Mel Gibson will still be crazy.
The kids from Glee are in GQ and looking quite nice. Unfortunately for them, some crazy parents decided that even though they are all in their 20s, it’s basically pedophelia. Um, where were these people when the BritBrit Shitshow started? Do they realize they could have stopped over a decades worth of useless crazy with a side of head shaving? I think the loss of sales for Starbucks would be worth getting my vision back after unseeing some of the redonkulousness that has come out of that train wreck.
Taylor Momsen has some difficulties keeping her clothes on. She’s either a ho-bag or she’s such a good character actor that Jenny Humphrey is a ho-bag and Taylor can’t tell the difference. Either way, girl needs to learn to keep her top on.
Beyonce is pregnant. Or she’s not.
Rachel Zoe is pregnant. Or she’s just eating for the first time in the 21st century.
LiLo’s back in rehab. Michael Lohan is done talking about LiLo…um, right.
John Mayer burned Taylor Swift. I’m dying of not surprise.
Kayne West’s teeth are shiny.
Jennifer Aniston’s dog is depressed. It apparently heard about John Mayer and Taylor Swift.
October 23, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Fun Wombat Facts:
- A wombat is a marsupial native to Australia.
- There are two main kinds of wombats: Common (pictured) and Hairy-nosed.
- Wombats are nocturnal grazers and eat grasses and roots.
- The average wombat weighs about 55 pounds and is 3.5 feet long.
- Wombats live in large burrows and have a plate on their back to protect them from predators trying to get them out of their burrow.
- Wombat poop is square…seriously.
October 22, 2010 at 11:54 am
Here at Y’all Ain’t Gonna Believe This Shit, we like sports…all kinds of sports. During football season, we’re going to highlight the SEC Football match-ups and maybe give a few predictions.
South Carolina (21) at Vanderbilt
I hate Darth Visor as much as the next girl, but the feather wearing ‘Dores are no match for the feather producing Gamecocks.
Mississippi at Arkansas (23)
Black Bear Rebels, eh? The mascot’s outfit for the grove is quite nice, but you’ve got to be kidding me with that hat. They will lose this game based solely on poor fashion choices. Football skill has nothing to do with it
LSU (6) at Auburn (4)
This proves to be one of the ugliest uniform match-ups of the week. While SEC teams are fairly well-dressed, the purple, yellow (THAT IS NOT GOLD), orange and blue combo make the football field look like a kindergarten art project.
UAB at Mississippi St. (24)
Homecoming.
Alabama (8) at Tennessee
Rocky Top, you’ll always be home sweet home to me…but you’re also going to get your ass kicked by the Tide. I’m sorry. I know the truth hurts, but someone had to tell you.
Georgia at Kentucky
The only matchup on the list without a ranked team, which is why the SEC is awesome…and also why no one cares about this game.
Until next week…GO VOLS!
October 21, 2010 at 5:39 pm
